Feeling down

    Yeah, that random ninja has the blues. I found out that my car is not fixable. When I looked under the hood, it looked like the battery and motor were having intimate relations. Things are just bugging me. 

   Me and scruffy. It's not that we aren't getting along, but we are both frustrated with the situation and the restrictions that come with it. When we're are together, it's like we are trying to focus on the romance more and that's great, but when we are apart and missing each other PLUS being frustrated, I guess we are really feeling the pressure now....Now being away from him is even worse than before...I miss him so much.

   School. Well, I'm not putting as much effort into my art as I'd like to be. It's my own fault. But maybe I'm growing tired of it. It's becoming more of a responsibility than a hobby.

   Church. I'm not mad or upset with church. No. But if I don't have a car of my own to drive, then I have no way to get to church. That is NOT okay with me.

   Work. Not getting as many hours as I've wanted to. I need them now to buy a new friggin' car. They made one of the newest servers there a shift supervisor. Now she's acting like she's above us and I just wanna....grr.

   Future. Getting into college, paying for college, still gonna live with my mom through college until I marry Scruffy, then onto running my own house, paying bills....I just wanna go back to when I could play on the Play Place at McDonald's.

   Sleep. Not getting much of it but when I do...the nightmares come around. I hate them. They leave me in a cold sweat, crying, and afraid.

    Maybe I'm just pms-ing. I don't know what it is but I hate it and I need for things to go smoothly, even if for just a little while. Maybe I need someone to slap some sense into me and to tell me to stop belly aching.