Changes to make room for Opportunity

Okay, here is Step 2 on my Self Improvement Plan: to make a list of the things in my life that I need to change in order to reach my ideal selfy.

• Study at least one chapter in the Bible each day. Only one, it should be easy and help a lot.
• Take time in my prayers, don't just make them quick and easy.
• When I make a decision, I need to stick to it and prevent myself from procrastination
• Go to sleep at a set time each night. 
• Stop wasting money on extra stuff, like a movie or video game.
• Eat at home more often.
• Go for a 30 min cardio routine each day, and maybe even work out some.
• Get more on-the-go vegetables for lunch instead of tv dinners, eat more fruit and maybe a bagel in the morning instead of pop tarts.
• Make more stuff at home.
• Drink water and only water, (helps out the kidney stones too)

Aiight, Guys, I'll update with any progress I've made and you do the same=)

Plans of an Opportunity

Here, I am fulfilling Step 1 in my Self Improvement Plan as stated in my last post, "Opportunity" Bascially, step one is to make a list of your ideal self. Here it is:

• Become a more faithful and knowing Chirstian
• Be more dedicated to the decisions I make in life
• Pass all my senior year classes
• Get enough sleep
• Save over $300 by my birthday (August 1st)
• Tone up (I am not uncomfortable about my weight, I just want to tone up and get in shape)
• Eat healthier.

Well, there's my list. I made it short and simple so I don't overload myself. Wish me luck!

I'm Gonna Make A Change,
For Once In My Life
It's Gonna Feel Real Good,
Gonna Make A Difference
Gonna Make It Right . . .

Man in the Mirror by Micheal Jackson

Opportunity

I am currently following the blog, "http://thisisthecollapserightnow.blogspot.com" And right now, the author is going through some stages of self improvement, and it is certainly inspirational. Her most recent post," The Secret to Happiness - Get Your Blog Promoted to Over 650 Users on Blogger!" Where she states her progress in her own self improvement and then encourages others to do the same. In her list of steps, she says, 

"Steps Involved in Becoming Happy
Step One: Write a list.
State what is involved in your ideal self, what you would like to achieve, what it would take to make you happy.
Step Two: Write a second list.
State who you currently are, what you need to change to reach list one, the things in your life that are making you unhappy.
Step Three: Work On It
Slowly, work your way up to your ideal self. Change the things that are making you unhappy, and start doing this that would delight you."

Then she encourages the self-improver to dedicate blog posts to document our progress. So the next few post are going to be plans and such for my own self improvement. So, cheer me on world, 'cause here I  go!

P.S. Comment if you plan on being a part of self improvement so I can follow you and cheer you on too!

Promises that Bind, Promises that Break

Due to my childhood and my trust issues, I have always been wary about making promises. I feel they carry much more weight than people believe. "I promise. " is thrown around too often and carelessly now a days, I think. 

I rarely make promises. When I do, I try to keep them, but I have dismissed a few during my high school years. I have dismissed the one to my ex-friend, that he could call me whenever he need help, when I found out he was only my friend because he thought I "was gonna give him some p****." (His words, not mine). I suppose I dismissed the one to my ex, that I would always be there for him any time he needed me. I did this when I finished our friendship that we had after our breakup because that friendship was jeopardizing my current relationship, and I knew I was going to have to make a choice. I feel terrible about this because he once told me, while crying on the phone, during our friendship, that I was the only one he could really talk to about the stuff in his life and be real with.

Even though I 'dismissed' those promises, I feel they still bind me. The ones who i made those promises to never relieved me from them. So, if the ex-friend asked for my help, if he could contact me without me hanging up on him or walking away, I would still feel as I must keep my promise or break it. With the ex-boyfriend, if he was desperate enough to actually ask me for my help, I would help him, but make sure Scruffy would be aware and okay with it. 

I have broken some promises too. I promised one of my friends I could keep his secret, but found out his secret was that he was thinking about suicide. I, after a lot of mental arguing with myself, told one of my teachers who contacted a guidance counselor. He later told me to remind him to never trust me again. I broke my promise to Scruffy when I told him that I wasn't keeping anything from him about the night I said goodbye to Stone.  This is one of the biggest regrets of my life.

 Promises mean a lot and they carry a lot with them. Don't take them lightly and Be careful who you make them too and what those promises are.

If you can make a promise
If it's one that you can keep
I vow to come for you
If you wait for me 

The Promise by Tracy Chapman

Meme

I call my great-grandmother, "Meme." My entire family does. 

When my mom was 14, she ran from home, to her divorced father. He shut the door in her face, so she made home with Meme and her husband. They humbly took her in and became like second parents to her. She was very close to both, until about 7 years ago, Meme's husband died from old age. We called him Papa Louie. After his death, their three kids only worried about what was in the will for them.  The effects of the will are not be put into place until the passing of his wife. Therefore, the argument was brutal, but short. Over the years, my mom visited Meme every Sunday and got her groceries and anything else she needed. Until she was no longer able to go out, my mom took her to go eat her favorite food, Chinese food. 

For years she has said that she's been ready to go home and didn't understand why God was keeping her here any longer. She has made the best of the time He has given her, nonetheless. My mom's uncle found her on Monday morning, unconscious. She was taken to the hospital where she was said to have Congestive Heart Failure. I found this out from my cousin that night. I didn't want to tell my mom that over the phone so I left her a note to wake me up before she went to work because I had something to Tuesday, I came home to her crying. She told me that they had taken Meme off life support and she was still alive but she wasn't expected to be here much longer. I know that was tearing my mom apart so she said she would go visit her in the hospital the next morning (which would be this morning). I arrived home from school today and found her at home instead of work. She told me that Meme has passed away. I asked if she got the chance to see her, but she said Meme died around midnight last night. 

I know that Meme is in a better place with the Lord, but I know it's going to kill my mom to deal with this. She said that the worst part for her was that she didn't get to say goodbye due to the way everything was handled. I fear it is going to get worse because the children will fight over what will be given to them out of the will.

Please remember us in your prayers. My mom is going to need it so much.

Latest Art Piece

This is a still life that I set up and created with charcoal. So no one else will claim it, I used a crappy picture and captioned on it, "property of that random ninja" hahaha hope you enjoy!

By the way, the still life includes my phone, converses, a paint bottle, and a bible with Matthew 19:26 engraved on it.